If You are having hard time getting Your kid to sleep alone then here are some pointers how I did that in a “not too much crying way”. We had tried putting our babygirl to sleep in her bed in same room with us but it was pretty hard. She kept crying long time and we were not very constant with it – not a good thing to do! But anyway we mostly let here sleep with us thinking she would grow a bigger bond with us. When our second child was on the way we knew it is going to be hard if nothing changes so we quickly prepared a room for her but did not put here to sleep there yet.
Introducing the room
We started intorducing the room to her every day by playing in there and making her feel good and comfy. All the furniture was pinkish and it reflected off the walls which all together made it look like a princess room – what she is. She started playing there daily and enjoyed it. We also kept the door open so while playing she would still feel connected to us.
Here comes brother
When her brother was born it was my decision to put her in her room right away. To prevent very big stress levels (what comes anyway as she finds out she is not The One anymore) I slept in her room for first 10 days or so. This is also the time when I started reading and listening to seminars a lot, I wrote about it here – time to sleep time to learn.
After about 10 days I started going back to my bed and stayed there until She woke up at night and called me. I was too tired many times and ended up fnishing my sleep in her bed but it was a progress…
Another week or two passed and nights in my bed got longer and longer.
Moving from bed to chair
Then I started putting her to sleep while sitting next to her. The rest was similar – waiting for her to fall asleep and then going back to my room until she woke up.
Day after day I moved the chair further away from her bed. There were drawbacks but I pretty quickly got back to moving further away. Also her waking up during night happened less. After 1,5 months from the beginning of this sleep training I was sitting by her door and she was ok with it!
One day when my wife had another ladies gathering at the other side of town, I was hanging around with both of my kids. One running around and pulling my legs and the other one enjoing the warmth of dads hands. When time was getting closer to 21.00 I knew I had to come up with a plan and this actually helped to get few big steps forward. I put my boy in the cradle and made a special holder for the milk bottle so he could feed by itself – i was proud of that. Same time I put my girl in bed and just told her: “daddy is right here” and stepped out. It seemed like she understood the situation and went along with it. Mostly she does not agree with such fast arrangements but this time it was ok. I then stood in the middle of two rooms waiting to rush in the direction I get most crying but all turned out pretty good. After about 30 minutes she was sleeping and it was a mark in the calender- first time falling asleep by herself.
Keep up with pace
While writing this article, she has just fallen a sleep by herself for 6 th time. Today it took about 20 minutes only. The two month period might seem like a long time but I know that she did not go through much stress, almost no crying( few times yes) and she got a lot time with dad so win for me.
Here is step by step what we did
- Prepared the room and had her get to know it – about a week minimum
- Put her in the room without alternatives but slept with her in same room for 10 days
- Moved to a chair next to her
- Every day sitting little further and finally being by the door – 2 weeks time
- Leaving door open and saying I’m right in next room – you’re done!
I know there are many teachings around, but we got what we thought was best for us all- she got to bond with us and we got her in separate room without too much crying.
Hope this helps You with getting personal time back!